Summer Slow-Down

*not too many recent submissions, i'll try to keep the site going through the summer with what few i get, but hoping all my eavesdroppers come back full force in the fall*

Prof: Those environmental interest groups are always on my case! Over and over: 'Global warming, global warming, global warming'. They say it so much I'm starting to believe it's true!

-eavesdropped by staytrue at Brescia PoliSci class

Let's Not Say Things We Can't Take Back

Guy: So we can assume that fart sex is not good enough?

-eavesdropped by willy in Saugeen

Eavesdrop Overstock

2 for the price of one!

Girl: Some girls spend too much time up their vagina.

Guy: If I were a girl I would love my vagina!

Girl: I do love my vagina, I just don't spend my free time shoving stuff in it

Guy: ...you put a potato in it?

Girl: That was my ass...

-eavesdropped by Lindsay on wellington 13

_____________________________________________

*conversation with guy ranting to girl about how the RCMP sucks*
Guy: Did you know that you only need to pass a typing test to be in the RCMP?!?

Girl: Oh. . . I thought you had to pass . . . a horse…riding test.

Guy: No that’s ceremonial…

Girl: Oh. . .

-eavesdropped by Alex in the UCC

F.I.N.A.L.S.

Good luck on your exams,
from Eavesdrop Western!

Eavesdrop-ology

Guy1: Yeah I wanted to take that Etymology course.

Guy2: What is that, the study of insects?

Guy1: No, thats Entomology.

Guy2: I thought Entomology was the study of cakes...

Guy1: What?!?

Guy2: No, wait, thats Entenmmens-ology

-eavesdropped by Evan in the Grad Club Caf

I Really Hope She Tried This Out

A group of first year girls are talking about getting good fake IDs

Girl#1: I think it's really awesome if you can get your sibling's ID, cause then they usually look like you, and you already know all of the information.

Girl#2: Oh my god, you know what would be amazing?! If you could get your twin's ID! They would look EXACTLY like you!

-Eavesdropped by J at Saugeen

Who Needs Psych When You Already Know So Much About Brain Transplants?

Guy: Hey, why weren't you in psych today?

Girl: Well I didn't think she would be teaching today, she JUST had brain surgery!

Guy: No, she was there, she taught a lesson and everything.

Girl: So what? She was just there, teaching away with her new brain?

-eavesdropped by Jake in the Saugeen caf

And Yet Both Are Strangely Adorable

Person 1: Ferrets are really weird looking.. They look like hairy snakes with legs..

Person 2: So do penises! Wait...

-eavesdropped by Beki at western

What Are Friends For?

A guy and a girl are talking about when this other girl on their floor got her kicked out of Taphouse one night

Guy: I swear if she pulls that shit again tonight, I'm gonna jizz on her door!

Girl: Oh my god, you are SUCH a good friend!

-eavesdropped by Sam at Saugeen

Just To Be Different From All The Other Sporting Events

Guy talking about a televised sporting event: Maybe they filmed it when it was live...

-eavesdropped by Beki at western

Western is Known for it's Innovative Thinkers

Person 1: Explains the concept of "Dial a Bottle"

Person 2: Oh my god, you call and they deliver booze?! They should have that for pizza!

-eavesdropped by BVH at western

Does That Include Socially Disabled People, Like Her?

*note: only students who require to use a lap top due to a disability are able to have lap tops in Sociology class*

Dumb girl: I dont get why we arent allowed to use laptops, and that people with disabilities are allowed to use them in class. Like, if they have a disability they shouldnt even be allowed to go to university.

-eavesdropped by Emily in Sociology Class

Definition of a Western Lightweight

Guy 1: What did you do today?

Guy 2: Went to lunch with Brooke and had a couple drinks, went to drink at the Spoke, then went to Tim's to drink.

Guy 1: Oh really? Where are you going now?

Guy 2: Home to drink.

-eavesdropped by LiyaT on Richmond 6 Bus

Cuz if You're Not, I'm Not Coming

Guy on Cell: Dude, are you dressed like a leprechaun?? ... Good. See you in the Spoke in 5.

-eavesdropped by LiyaT at western

That's Like Wearing a Canadian Flag without the Big Red Pot Leaf on it

Drunk Girl: Why are you wearing that?

Guy: (wearing Irish flag as a cape) ...because it's St. Patty's!

Drunk Girl: So, you're supposed to wear green, what's with the cape?

Guy: ...It's the flag of Ireland.

Drunk Girl: (laughing) No, it's not! There are no clovers on it!

-Eavesdropped by GS at Western St. Patrick's Day Party

But I'll Take A Carton of Vanilla Ice Cream

Girl #1: Do you want some vanilla soy milk? I have three cartons of it.

Girl#2: I can't, I'm allergic to dairy.

-eavesdropped by Carolyn at western

And I Only Paid For Moderate Bleeding

Girl (on phone): I'm not trying to get my money back, but I just want you to know that I had excessive bleeding

-eavesdropped by Carolyn at Western house party

At Least She Didn't Check For Fire-Crotch

Girl 1: How'd you get that mustache on?

Dirty Blond Guy: Marker.

Girl 1: Why is it red?

Dirty Blond Guy: My natural hair colour is actually flaming red.

Girl 1: but your pit hair ain't red. You ain't ginger if your pit hair ain't red.

Dirty Blond Guy to spectator Girl 2: (shocked) Did she just call me out on my armpit hair?

-eavesdropped by SKW in a Delaware elevator

I Don't Think She's Taking This Seriously

Western Girl 1: (excited) Ok, so I was thinking of wearing this to the party (pulls shirt out of bag)

Western Girl 2: (looks shirt over, contemplating) well...it is bright....but is it tight?

Western Girl 1: (looks at shirt disappointed) no, I guess not,

Western Girl 2: (completely serious) no, it isn't. you're going to have to keep looking. it's a tight and bright party, that's the whole point, and I don't need you ruining it.

Western Girl 1: (ashamed) Okay (puts shirt back in bag)

-eavesdropped by MR at UCC

It's Been A Slow Day So Far...

Guy 1: I jizzed in my pants twice today.

Guy 2: Congratulations.

-eavesdropped by Megan at Western

You Just Need To Wang Harder

Girl #1: Omg, I'm so going to fail this exam

Girl #2: Why don't you just wing it?

Girl #1: Well, I wanged the last two exams, and I got a 70...

-eavesdropped by Winston at Elgin

So He Must Like You Better

Western Girl: (on cell phone to friend) Yeah, when I met my boyfriend he told me that he has a girlfriend, but I really like him. Besides, it's not like he's cheating on me. He's cheating on her with me.
-(also) eavesdropped by CB at Western

Side Effects May Include: Quoting SNL Skits from 10 Years Ago

Girl #1: (laughing) I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell!
Girl #2: oh my god, is that the stuff you had to take before that you were allergic to??

-eavesdropped by Robyn at Weldon

Almost as Big as the Territory of Texas

Western Guy 1: I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger driving his eco-friendly Hummer while on Spring Break.
Western Guy 2: Wait, how did you see Arnold Schwarzenegger?! You weren't in Hollywood.
Western Guy 1: No, I was in Sacramento. He's the Governor of California now.
Western Guy 2: Huh?
Western Guy 1: Think of the Governor like the Premiere, and California would be like one of our provinces.
Western Guy 2: Oh. *pause* But I still don't see how you saw him. The province of California is so big.

-eavesdropped by CB at Western

I think that's how Jessica Simpson did it...

Blonde #1: "...so, yeah, like three of my friends got this stomach flu and were throwing up for like days and my one friend lost like six pounds."
Blonde #2: "oh my god, i want that!"
Blonde # 1: "i know, right? me too."

-Eavesdropped waiting for bus at Richmond Gates by katelyn (thanks to katelyn for sending us our first overheard and getting the ball rolling!!)

Welcome to the Next Generation...

as you all know, OAW is now dead and gone away :( but that doesn't mean we need to stop ridiculing the many hilarious conversations, comments, and questions overheard at our fair campus. The OAW girls may have graduated and moved into the "real world", but I am only in second year, and very much still in the Western Bubble and have enough time on my hands to check hotmail and copy/paste a few submissions a week.

So, keep your ear out, and e-mail your overheards to eavesdropwestern@hotmail.com

Welcome to EW, the next generation of smarm :)